Confused who you should vote for in this election? Don’t be!
vote for People,
vote for the Future,
vote for America to stop Sucking,
Vote for KIMBERLY KING!
The story of Ms. King’s life is a true rags to riches tale. Kimberly wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth; she was born on the mean streets of… well, no one’s quite sure. Not long after, she was abandoned and given over to the foster care system—at least according to one “Franklin Stine.” (The veracity of Mr. Stine’s allegations cannot be verified at this time, and Mr. Stine himself was unavailable for comment.) There is, however, some dispute as to Kimberly’s origins, as she appeared to be living at home with her father as of 2014.
Even from a young age, Kimberly understood how America works.”
What we do know for certain, is that Ms. King is very much alive and with us today.
The Early Years…
During her formative years, Kimberly showed a strong gift for leadership—and in taking all the toys for herself. But her generous streak betrayed her: Kimberly would often share her toys with the children who agreed to play by her rules. Showing that, even from a young age, Kimberly understood how America works.
When she grew older and wiser—and learned how to read—Kimberly began devouring all the classic texts of political thought and strategy, such as: Highlights for Kids, Green Eggs and Ham, and Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
Kimberly’s love for strategy soon brought out a competitive streak. She started playing, and playing to win—and winning to play. Whether the game was checkers, hacky sack, or the alleged 2010 escape of Billy W. Mainola from juvenile detention, Kimberly showed that she had what it takes to succeed. She also remains her block’s undisputed Dodge Ball champion to this day.
Her School Career and Interest in Politics…
Kimberly entered junior high, and then high school, at the top of her class. Her keen mind seemed to excel no matter what she was challenged with. Her status as a rising star went unquestioned, and she soon found herself being courted by the various factions of high school life: the mathletes, the cheer squad, the debate team, and the quarterback.
There was a great deal of pressure on her at this time to enter into politics. Kimberly’s first appointment was as campaign advisor to then student president hopeful Jan Smyrna.
After a close (some say totally-rigged) student council election resulted in a victory for Jan‘s competitor, Emma Farugut (exact spelling unknown), Kimberly withdrew from the “official” political scene. She resurfaced not long after as the head of her own political party: the KKKK (Kimberly King’s Konquest Klub), quoting Milton’s famous line that it is “better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.”
Kimberly’s confidence, enthusiasm, and the significant financial resources of her backers soon led to a cultural explosion. The KKKK would go viral, and enter the world scene for the first time. Now Kimberly stands poised to lead America to victory in the most significant Presidential Election of our times.
better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.” —Kimberly King
In Kimberly’s own words: “What America needs is what the American people need: a strong return to all the things that make America great—while remembering the warm traditionally progressive family values and a bold new look at cultural equality that recognizes both loyal middle-Americans with more jobs and families, and also minority children with varying sexual orientations that lend to a new type of empowered voter who harmonizes with the unity of modern progress-minded individuals who deserve freedom and a greater level of transparency and control over their government while recognizing the needs of the many evolving challenges of our times and participation in providing greater opportunities to ethnically-diverse members of varying backgrounds together for our children.”
Vote Kimberly 2016!: “Surprisingly Not the Craziest Choice.”
Article by Franklin Stine (With special thanks to contributor and guest author Kimberly King)